Who should “win” this season of The Bachelor?


Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Even though it’s ostensibly about “dating” or “finding love,” the ABCs Bachelor meIt’s a competition in itself that a group of about 30 people try to win – although “winning” means something different to each person. Sure, they all say they’re there to meet their true love and be with them forever, as if none of them have ever heard of the statistics or Googled the vast majority of couples who met on Bachelor, and that’s certainly true for some of them. But it’s only “winning” if you have more heart than brains. A better way to win is to get close to the end, have the bachelor break your heart in a dramatic way where it’s made abundantly clear that neither of you is a bad guy, and then become the star of the next season of the show Girlhood.

However anyone defines it, someone has to victoryand being reality TV, the seed of a winner needs to be planted in the very first episode – especially when we’re talking about Bachelor, which has to introduce all of its contestants in its first episode. So, with new season Bachelor starts this week and new Bachelor Zach Shallcross making his debut, let’s try to decide who might (or should) wins.

First, what do we know about Zach Shallcross? Sam says in the premiere episode that the most important things in the world to him are “football, family and frozen pizzas,” so we’re not dealing with someone who takes himself particularly seriously. Sure, he’s a bro, but he’s a little more rude. For example, if I had a choice between going to the gym or a puppet show, I might have to think about it for a while before finally deciding to go to the gym.

Of the 30 women featured in the first episode, all vying to be the next Bachelorette (or “crush” or whatever), a few completely missed the mark. A woman named Holland found out that Zach when he went on a date in Holland (as in Holland) when he was on Girlhood, things didn’t work out there because he was “in the wrong Netherlands”. A nice adult joke, but Zach didn’t seem to appreciate the sex positivity and Holland ended up going home without a rose.

Another poor introduction came from a woman named Gabi who proudly stated that she was from Vermont and that all people in Vermont drink maple syrup. She handed Zach the bottle and watched him excitedly as he took a sip, then she got it really offended when he seemed utterly disgusted by it. Yes, it’s syrup. It’s the spice! By the way, the maple syrup thing isn’t as cute as you think it is, Vermont. Learn to be a little more ashamed of it than the people of Wisconsin are of cheese.

Speaking of Wisconsin, a woman named Madison (she’s from North Dakota, but she’s Madison town in Wisconsin) caused a lot of juicy reality TV drama early on when she tried to repeatedly insert herself into Zach’s interactions with other women. But the show’s editing quickly turned her story into exploitative reality TV trash that everyone involved (including the viewers!) should be ashamed of. She volunteered to go home before the actual rose presentation, and the camera lingered on her for several minutes as she walked from Zach (after he rejected her) to a waiting van, crying all the while. Who needs dignity? Isn’t reality TV fun?!

But the two women in the premiere actually do pretty well: the first, Christina Mandrell, is the only one of the women with a last name (Mandrell, as in The Mandrell Sisters, because even Bachelor can’t escape the babies), and she strove to control basically every moment the entire crew arrived on the famous Male mansion. She doesn’t seem like a fascinatingly interesting person, but everyone – especially Zach Shallcross – walked away when they knew who she was and that her name was Christina Mandrell. It was actually a little weird when Zach gave her a rose at the end of the episode and called her “Christina.” They didn’t put “Christina Mandrell” on every damn chyron so she could be considered some a normal personZach.


Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin

The second host performed well from the moment she was introduced in the pre-recorded intro video (which, it must be said, not everyone gets). Her name is Greer, and she was introduced as she hung out alone in a park, asked a cameraman if you should open champagne by shaking it, and then startled a nearby squirrel when the bottle exploded. She then took a moment to meet a stranger’s dog and talk about herself in the third person. He is a cartoon character, which is at least an interesting and identifiable personality.

When she arrived at the mansion, she explained to Zach that she lived in New York and brought him a cup of coffee “all the way from New York”—as if they didn’t sell coffee anywhere else. It was a silly joke that he would need caffeine so they could stay up late getting to know each other, and then she gave him a cup of coffee and left. He must have figured out what he was going to do with the cup after that! Even the maple syrup woman took the syrup with her when she was done with her stupidity.

Greer’s completely insane behavior made her an instant favorite, but the only opinion that matters is Zach’s, and he actually agrees: giving him a chance to give one of the women Rose a first impression that serves as a sort of Survivors Idol Immunity (the recipient is exempt from the rose ceremony and receives a free pass for the following week), decided to give it to Greer. And he couldn’t even see the absurd behavior of the champagne bottle! He had just given up on her hanging out over coffee and the fact that she gave a wild speech about how she always wanted to live in Texas like he did.

A lot of people live in Texas, it’s really not that interesting, but for a football/family/frozen pizza guy like Zach? This might just be what it takes to “win” Bachelor, or at least stay long enough to make a bigger impression. If Greer can maintain a quiet quirky demeanor despite Christina Mandrell holding back more, she could—or at least should—be the lock to take home Male crown (ie “fall in love” or be the star of the next show).


Also Read :  General Hospital Spoilers December 26, 2022 Through January 6, 2023

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Related Articles

Back to top button